


a welded heart

by Myssi



Series: Catching Signatures [2]
Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Howard Stark's A+ Parenting, M/M, signatures
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-06
Updated: 2020-01-06
Packaged: 2021-02-25 15:48:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22138624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Myssi/pseuds/Myssi
Summary: For as long as Tony could remember, he had always been cold.---Companion piece to my other fic, "Birdcatcher." It is not needed to read that one in order to understand this one, this is simply Tony's side of the story in the same universe.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Clint Barton, Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Series: Catching Signatures [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1593631
Comments: 7
Kudos: 53





	a welded heart

For as long as Tony could remember, he had always been cold. 

It had not been a kind of cold fixed with a warm jacket. It never eased from his bones with cups or coffee or tea. Distantly, he could remember his mother nudging mugs of hot chocolate into his hands during the warm evenings of summer, while Tony sat there with a barely perceptible shiver coursing down his body. But, Tony had never really registered being cold with being unusual, as he'd had far more important things to focus on in that regard; like the fact that he'd gotten his sig at seven years old. 

The disappointment of his father at the name of Captain America appearing on his only son should have been enough to break Tony. The fact that his parents forced him to cover up and hid his soulmate's name should have made him feel like hiding himself from the world forever. 

But it didn't.  
When his father would tell him how it was good he had no soulmate, Tony would sneer and throw himself into projects in his lab. He graduated top of his class, he met his full potential of being a genius, he became a son that would please Howard Stark. And it wasn't good enough. 

He was in college when he realized his father didn't care about him, so long as he kept the name below the inside of his elbow hidden beneath a leather cuff. And so, Tony stopped.

But it didn't matter how many drinks he downed, nor how many beaches he lounged on. It didn't matter how many people he lost himself in for a night. Tony Stark was still freezing, Steve Rogers was still dead, and Tony was trying to fix both of those things with drowning himself in a bottle and the party boy life. Then Howard died, his mother along with him. 

He didn't think he could scream when he was drowning, but his soul did. And Tony Stark was further lost.  
\---  
He last thought before blacking out in the desert of Afghanistan, with the fires of the explosion roaring around him and the screams of the soldiers echoing around him, was that he was still so, so cold. He gripped his leather cuff beneath his clothes, and blacked out.

His life became flashes after that. He felt like there were two Tony Starks - the one before the explosion, and the one after it. And it was only the latter he cared about. 

The flashes felt blurry almost. There was the feeling of drowning, of blasting out of the cave. Building his first suit, and Obie's ultimate betrayal while Tony laid below him with his eyes wide as he watched his friend pull his heart out. Distantly, he was surprised the man didn't also rip his cuff off, and bare his soul. 

Throughout the flashes, Tony felt only two constants in his life, two things tying him back to his life before the explosion; the feeling of cold, and the leather cuff he rarely ever removed from his arm. 

Until, one day, Tony Stark realized the ache of cold was slowly, ever so slowly, leaving his bones.

**Author's Note:**

> I apologize for dropping off the face of the world. Expect all fics to be updated at some point. Enjoy!


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